This parental mistake produces mentally retarded children

Sometimes you have to let kids figure out how to solve problems or the consequences of their decisions.

That’s according to psychiatrist and bestselling author Daniel Amen. Amen he said “Built Different” podcast in an episode that aired Tuesday.

Such behaviors — like doing a class project yourself to help your child get a better grade or giving them what they want just to stop an impending tantrum — limit children’s mental stability and sense of independence, Amin said. And they are highly resilient children are more likely to become happy, successful adultsresearch shows.

“When my daughter forgets her homework at home, no one brings her to school. If she doesn’t bring a jacket on a cold day, no one brings her a jacket, even if her mother tells her to,” said Amen. “It’s so important that when a child says, ‘I’m bored,’ rather than correcting them, say, ‘I wonder what you’re going to do about it.'”

“If you do too much for your children, you increase your self-esteem by robbing them of their self-esteem,” he added. “(People) develop mental toughness by solving problems.”

Creating mental stability of the child “tough love” does not require a parenting approach Tovah Klein, a child psychologist at Barnard College, was heavily chastised last year when she told CNBC Make It. Trying to protect kids from disappointment won’t help them build resilience, Klein said.

Instead, you can allow your children to experience failures, mistakes, and other difficult moments — while letting them know that you still support and love them.

“I see it as a more empathetic, connected (approach). ‘This can be hard, and I’ll be here when you’re done,'” Klein said, adding, “It’s a message of, ‘I trust you. Get through this hard work, no matter what. win, lose, or fall in the middle, I’ll be here.”

Similarly, the more you encourage children to help the people around them—from everyday tasks at home to friends and classmates at school—the more empowered and responsible they will be to deal with their own problems, the American Psychological Association noted. 2012 blog post.

“Let them begin to understand their problems or solutions to their problems, rather than obsessing over them,” Amin said.

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