The past is not set in stone

I’m currently reading The tainted cupfantasy detective novel.

Think “Sherlock Holmes set in Westeros”.

The protagonist has this augmentation that allows him to absorb every single detail of every interaction, crime scene, and later recite those exact details.

I remember a scary one Black mirror episode about just that: the ability to recall every fact of every interaction in the past.

The thing is: in all these scenarios the facts may be true, but the analysis of those facts still leaves a lot of room for improvement.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently when I came across two stories I want to share:

“The past is not true” by Derek Sivers:

When I was 17, I was driving recklessly and crashed into an oncoming car. I found out I broke the other driver’s spine and he will never walk again.

I carried this burden everywhere with me and felt so terrible about it for so many years that I decided at the age of 35 to find this woman to apologize to her. I found out her name and address, went to her house, knocked on the door, and a middle-aged woman answered. As soon as I said, “I’m the teenager who hit your car eighteen years ago and broke your spine,” I started sobbing—a big, ugly cry that came out of years of regret.

She was so sweet and hugged me and said, “Oh baby, baby! Don’t worry. I’m fine!” She then led me into her living room. He walked.

Turns out I misunderstood.

Yes, she broke a few vertebrae, but it never stopped her from walking. She said “that little accident” helped her pay more attention to her fitness and she has been in better health than ever since.

Then she apologized for causing the accident in the first place. He apologized.

And this a story about the “good old days” by Morgan Housel:

A few months ago I was reminiscing to my wife about how wonderful (life was in our 20s). We were 23, gainfully employed and living in our version of the Taj Mahal. It was before the kids, so we slept in until 10:00 on the weekend, went for a walk, had brunch, took a nap, and went to dinner. That was our life. For years.

“That was about as high as it gets,” I told her.

“What are you talking about?” she said. “Back then you were more anxious, scared and probably depressed than ever before.

…In my head today I look back and say to myself: “I must have been so happy then. Those were my best years.”

But what I actually thought at the time was: “I can’t wait for the years to be over.

It makes me think a lot about the past and our future. Turns out neither is set in stone!

Which past story can you rewrite?

As the cliché goes, it’s easier to connect the dots looking back than looking forward.

Is there a story from your past about a particular moment that you still carry with you?

Maybe it’s shame about something that happened, but it led to something even better for you.

Maybe it’s longing for a past life that never really existed.

The past has already happened, but that doesn’t mean it’s set in stone!

Back to Sivers:

“You can change your history.

Actual factual events are a small part of it. Everything else is perspective, open to reinterpretation.

The past is never done.”

I would like to know which story you tell yourself about the past, good or bad, that you choose to rewrite?

-Steve

###